"It Happened to Me"

There is a section in one of the parenting magazines I read that is called "It Happened to Me" and moms write in about accidents and things that have happened to their kids in an attempt to warn other moms so it doesn't happen to them. I've learned about some interesting and unsuspecting things to be careful about, such as letting your kids be outside when the lawn is being mowed (rocks flying at them), being careful when you're vacuuming (this one kid got his hand caught under the vacuum cleaner and it ripped his skin off), furniture falling on kids, babies getting their hands burned on the oven, and other such scary things. So, anyway, I had one of these types of things happen to me that now I want to warn other moms of!

This week I was at Costco and had my two kids (Samuel - 2 1/2 & Hope - 11 mo. now) in the shopping cart at the front seat part. (Costco's carts are great because they have places for two kids at the front!) So, they were both buckled in the whole time until we got to the check out counter and Hope started fussing, so I unbuckled her and picked her up for a few minutes. Then on the way out, I put her back in and for whatever reason, didn't bother to buckle her in again. Of course, I am sure you can tell where this is going... so, as I was unloading the stuff into my car in the parking lot, I hear this loud thump and look back to find Hope NOT in the shopping cart, and lying on the ground with her face down. I definitely about lost it, and panicked, running to pick her up and in shock that that had just happened. I really couldn't believe it and didn't know what to do. Fortunately, a lady who was close by and saw it happen came over and asked if we were okay. I was kind of panicking and asked her what she thought I should do, if I should take her to the ER. We both kind of seemed to agree that was the best idea, and she helped me finish loading the stuff into the car and get Samuel and Hope in their car seats so I could drive to the ER. Hope ended up being fine, but it certainly was very scary. I honestly didn't really ever think my kids would fall out of the shopping cart if they weren't buckled in, but now I know just how wrong this thinking was! So, learn from my mistake, and always always always buckle your kids into the shopping cart seat, even if you think it is only going to be a minute or two before you have them out again!

And while I am writing about this, when we were in the ER, I probed the doctor with a lot of questions about falls and head injuries and how to know when you really need to go to the ER, because I feel like this is something that most of us moms don't really know the right answers to. Of course, we think it would be obvious when we would need to go to the ER, but I have now taken my daughter to the ER twice in her first year of life, and both of those time I did not feel like it was a very easy and obvious decision. Yet both times it turned out that it was a good decision. Anyway, so kids fall all the time, how do you know when it is serious enough to warrant an ER visit? Here is what I learned. With children, the only way they can really know if there is serious damage to the head or brain is by doing a CAT scan. However, the radiation this uses has been found to have a negative effect on children and babies, and is a risk that is often not worth taking. Also, in order to do a CAT scan, the child has to hold completely still for 5 minutes. So, since this is pretty much impossible, they have to usually put them under for this procedure. Therefore, in order to decide to do this, there usually needs to be a pretty substantial reason to think there might be something wrong. However, if the child or baby is acting strange, lost consciousness, is vomiting or bleeding, or had a very far or hard fall, or has a pretty severe bump on the head, these things would certainly warrant an ER visit. The doctor said that the height of Hope's fall made it borderline for doing a CAT scan, but since he was able to see her and see that she seemed to be acting pretty normal, he decided against it. He just said that I needed to watch her very closely for the next 24 hours and make sure she seemed to be acting mostly normal and didn't have any of those signs I just listed. So, hopefully some of this information from my trip to the ER will be helpful to you all. (actually, hopefully you will never need to know any of this! :) Another thing I learned was that even if there is damage from the fall (other than stitches) the only thing they can actually do is if there is a blood clot, they would go in and do surgery to remove it. Kind of scary! Anyway, may none of us ever have to deal with this kind of stuff! Strap those babies in!

Child Development

One of my favorite aspects of motherhood is getting to watch my children grow and develop. It is one of the most amazing things to see the tiny, helpless newborn baby you gave birth to grow up and learn to roll over, then sit up, then start eating solid foods, then crawl, stand, walk, talk, and continue to learn more and more things everyday. It all happens in such a short period of time, and yet you barely notice it happening sometimes because it is slow and gradual.

I believe getting to really see this process is something that only parents can really get to see, because even people who get to see certain children once or twice a week don't get to see every little gradual change, as well as the changes that sometimes happen in a moment. But as moms, we get to see it all! It is so great!

Often in a matter of a week your baby goes from sitting up to crawling, or can all of sudden clap or click her tongue! Hope just started getting so good at mimicing, it is amazing! She even tries to snap her fingers when we do. She can now sign "more" and "all done" and probably could do so much more if I took the time to work with her on it! And she is only 10 months old! She just started crawling a few weeks ago, and will come to me when I tell her to. I think one of the amazing things about how infants develop is that they really understand so much more than we think they do. She certainly understands when I tell her no or when I tell her to lay down and go to sleep. Of course, she often fights me in these things and likes to pretend like she doesn't know what I am saying, but I have come to realize she really DOES know what I am saying, and if I don't let her get her way, she obliges to what I have told her. Kids are so darn amazing!

Motherhood Craziness

Well, I can't believe I haven't posted anything up on here ALL summer! So sorry everyone! We moved into a new house in July and then the rest of the summer has just seemed to be so packed with all sorts of things. Last night though I had a dream that I was hanging out with a group of moms and was sharing something and one of them said, "Can you please post that on your blog?"

Unfortunately, I can't remember exactly what it was I was sharing with them, but what I do remember was that it had something to do with how much of our lives as moms consists of dealing with any number of crazy situations, and to embrace it and know that it is normal and you are not alone!

For instance, this morning when I went upstairs to get Samuel out of bed, he tells me, "Pee pee Momma" and points to a large wet spot on his sheet. So I recognize that this morning is going to consist of a load of laundry and re-making his bed before nap time, among the normal hecticness of just getting us all fed and dressed in the morning times. After some time though, you start to realize that these sort of occurances should really just be expected and be considered normal. A poopy diaper that goes through all three layers of clothing...a fussy child that needs to be held an extra long time that day...three sets of dishes and cups that one child went through in one meal...picking up the massive pile of books and toys four times in one day (how do they manage to get so much out in such a short period of time?)...two or three baths in one day from a very messy meal or extra large amounts of dirt from playing outside or from a poopy that wipes just couldn't do justice...and the list goes on. I am sure we all have our own personal situations that make us sigh and wish we could just get away for a few hours.

And yet, it is just all part of the job, part of the blessing of being "mom". And I only have two kids, and they are barely old enough to talk yet! I can only imagine what my list might be when I have more kids and when I am dealing with all sorts of emotional issues that I haven't even come across yet!

Well, I guess the point is just that I am learning how to be more patient, more thankful, and less surprised at the daily ordeals of motherhood. I think one thing that helps the most is to remember to stop often and just enjoy my kids - just watch them and marvel at how amazing and adorable and funny they are! Many blessings to you all as you enjoy the craziness of motherhood and all the fun and wonder bundled into it all!

"14 Habits of Very Happy Moms"

I am mostly taking this list from a magazine article out of Parents magazine, but editing it according to my desires & adding my own comments because I can! It is a pretty good list with some good reminders for all of us moms out there!

1. ask for help (don't be afraid to admit you're not a super-mom & let people help you out!)
2. leave the house - now (I totally agree that getting out, especially to go outside and go to a park or over to a friend's house to play is one of the most fun and uplifting things to do, although it is very true that it is a lot of work. But most everytime I do this, I am glad I did!)
3. plan some big fun (like a vacation :)
4. exercise
5. find a way to have some alone time
6. find ways to serve & help others
7. don't be envious of other moms (& try to avoid those self-pity trips where you silently lament your lot in life of very little sleep, lots of unappreciated work, no pay, and little or no time off...that's just all part of the job description of "MOM")
8. hang with your gal pals (spend time with other moms in the "trenches of motherhood" with you)
9. spend some one-on-one time with each of your children
10. remember that nothing lasts forever (both to enjoy all the blessings that won't be there forever, and to patiently endure the difficulties that will be gone soon enough)
11. laugh & smile a lot (one of the things that makes me the happiest is just to watch my kids & realize how cute and funny they are -- to just enjoy who they are in all of their specialness)
12. dance & play music (kids love this, and it makes mom happy too!)
13. give & get lots of cuddles, hugs & kisses!
14. and the one I would probably consider the most important: BE THANKFUL! Many women these days can't even have children. Remember what a blessing it is that you have been given children, & learn how to love every minute of being a mom, because it is one of the biggest blessings God can give us!

Flying with Babies

oh my goodness everyone! I'm so sorry it has been so long since I wrote a post...a month! Well, I was in Hawaii for a week, and then we are moving at the end of the month, so I have been trying to start getting rid of stuff and packing to get ready for that! So hopefully after June I will get a little more consistent with writing posts!

So after my 5 and a half hour flight to Hawaii with a 6 month old baby, I thought I should write a post with some helpful hints I've learned and heard about flying with infants. I've also flown a lot with my son to visit my parents in Texas, a much more doable 3 hour flight.

Well, first of all, you've just gotta pysche yourself up and tell yourself you can do it, no matter how hard it may be at moments! The goal really is getting there, and sometimes that might be a messy process. While I am sure many moms have had great flying experiences with their children, and I've had my handful of relatively easy ones, there can also be moments where you feel as though you're on the brink of disaster and aren't sure if you will survive! But take heart, you will!

Okay, so on a more practical note... if you're traveling with someone else, don't sweat it. You'll have someone to help bear the burden and to help you put all of that stuff through the conveyer belt at the security check! On that note, gear yourself up for the security check, because it is one of the more intense brief moments of flying with a baby.

Well, this post is a little sporadic so far, so let me take you through flying with an infant somewhat chronologically and give you some tips as I go.

First, you need to remember to take the car seat with you as you get out of the car to go to the airport unless you already have one wherever you are traveling to. Also, I highly recommend taking the stroller too, because it is great for lugging all of your baby stuff through the airport, and you can check it at the gate. They actually make traveling with your stroller super easy.

So, you go into the airport dragging all of your luggage, pushing the stroller with the carseat in it, and finally make it to the check in line. I recommend doing the original check-in style with a real live person, because you have to tell them you are flying with an infant. Also, you should always ask how full the flight is, because if it is relatively empty, they will often book you an extra seat for the baby for free, then you can take their car seat all the way onto the plane, and you are set! Don't panic if the flight is full and you can't though. You'll still be fine (I had to have Hope on my lap the whole time flying to and back from Hawaii).

So, then you get your tickets and get all checked in. With a baby, I highly recommend checking all you can at the ticket counter, except the stroller, and I also choose to not check the infant car seat until the gate. You can either check it at the ticket counter or the gate, it is up to you, but I have found that it gets taken a little better care of if they check it at the gate and it doesn't have to get all tossed around with the rest of the luggage.

Alright, then the security line! This gets a little crazy because you have to get your shoes off, get all of your stuff up on the conveyer belt (diaper bag, purse, car seat, stroller) and then carry the baby through the security line. My advice is to just not stress, take your time, and don't worry about the annoyed people in line behind you :) You're doing the best you can!

So then as you wait at the gate, at some point you have to get a tag for the stroller and car seat to be able to check it at the gate. You just go up to the person at the counter at the gate and ask them for this.

I also would recommend taking a baby carrier in case you need to use this while you wait. I used my Ultimate Baby Wrap when travelling with Hope to get her to fall asleep several times. Another random tip is to choose carefully if possible the times you are flying. Try to set it up where you will be ON the plane for nap time, not sitting in the airport, or getting off right in the middle of a nap. Most babies (at least mine), DO NOT sleep through all the commotion of getting on and off the plane, even if it is in the middle of the night.

Alright, boarding time. Sometimes I've chosen to take advantage of the early boarding you can do with infants, but more recently I've decided against this and instead choose to be one of the last ones on the plane. This is because I find that the less time with a baby on your lap in a small space where you can't stand up, the better!

So, now you're on the plane... depending on the age of the baby, it can be pretty hard to get them to sleep until the plane has actually taken off (but at which point it is usually pretty easy for them to sleep because of the lull and humm similar to a car). So, I use this time before take off to play with a toy or something to keep them occupied. It is always a good idea to bring a few toys/books on the plane, even with a 3 or 4 month old. You never know when you might need them.

-TAKE OFF: often babies will cry at take-off and landing because their ears pop like ours. To help with this, nurse them at these points, or have them suck on a pacifier.

-IN THE AIR: don't be surprised if at some point on the flight, your baby has a melt-down. I've had it happen to me several times, and you feel really helpless and miserable, but it usually ends before too long. Here are some tricks I've found to help in these moments:
- don't be afraid to use nursing as a calming tool at any time during the flight
- pull out any toys or use any fun tricks to get your baby happy again
- bounce them up and down on your lap
far and away, the most helpful is the nursing though!

So, hopefully your baby will sleep all or at least part of the time while flying in the air. If not, hopefully they will be able to play contently on your lap or in their car seat. And if they don't, at least you'll be able to look back one day and laugh!

The good news is that when you get off the plane, most of the time your car seat and stroller will be waiting for you just out the door of the plane!

Okay, I think that is about it for now. Hope this helps in some way! Happy Flying!

A Word of Caution

This morning as I went into the bathroom for a minute while my 5 1/2 month old layed on the bed, I remembered the stories I've heard of babies falling off of couches or beds when left alone for just seconds. These stories often come to mind and serve as reminders to be extra diligent with where I leave my children and how far I get away from them. I realized the blessing it is to be able to learn from other's mistakes so that we don't have to experience them ourselves. These are the stories I was able to hear that have made me diligent and have prevented my babies from falling off of stuff (at least so far). I heard of a mom who left her sleeping baby on the bed while she was in the other room doing something. The baby was not only asleep, but couldn't roll over yet. However, she heard a loud thump and returned to the room to find her baby on the hard wood floor. He had somehow managed to roll off upon waking up.

Another friend had her baby on the couch while she was only a few feet away. He rolled off the couch and she had to watch it happen, only milliseconds away from being able to catch him.

These stories often come to my mind and serve as reminders that we must be very diligent about where we set our babies down, even if they can't roll over yet. We must stay within arms reach at all times when they are on anything high. I wanted to share these stories in order that some of you might be helped to prevent a similar thing from happening.

Also, if any of you have stories that you would like to share so that we can learn from other's mistakes and not have to repeat them, please e-mail them to me so I can post them.

funny stuff

kids often say the darnest things, and I have always enjoyed reading some of the hilarious things they say. these are some pretty funny ones that I got in an e-mail forward that I thought I would share. the last one is my particular favorite! hope you get some good laughs!


JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while he asked: "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she
was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom goodnight. "I love you so
much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a chewable aspirin. She
tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her
Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please
don't give me this juice again," she said, "It makes my teeth cough."

D. J. (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I
cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and
kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad:
"Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked: "What
happened to the flea?"

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather
wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then
asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget . . .
It was Sunday, and time for the Minister's sermon. "Dear Lord," he
began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned
face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at
that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me
and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is
butt dust?"

The most wasted day is one in which we have not laughed!

Crafts for 2-year-olds

thanks, Kristy Maligro, for these great ideas!

Craft ideas to do with two-year-olds:
- cut out shopping cart and have them glue on cut outs of food items (cut out of local newspaper) or cut out paper people and glue on clothes for them
- threading cardboard bookmarks (punch holes in cardboard and use string w/ tape around end to thread through the holes)
- glue cotton balls onto a sheep cutout to make an ornament
- maybe we could have everyone at playgroup bring a t-shirt and then use a fabric pen to trace all the kids hands on all the shirts w/ their names/age in the middle of their hand.
- Rice, oatmeal, beans or noodles in a dish pan is a great sensory experience let her use measuring cups, funnels, strainer, pastry brush etc
- Take two paper plates and staple them together putting beans or rice in the middle. Let the child paint or glue or put stickers and ribbon on the outside making their own tambourine
- have races with hotwheels cars… make ramps /tunnels for them
- make shakers w/ toilet paper roll (fill with beans or rice and cover each end securely)
- playdough day
- music day - bring any instruments/rattles/etc. or scarves/ribbons... for a time of music where the kids can sing or play or dance along... can do hand motions to songs they may already know too. tagen seems to be fascinated by this lately
- make cheerio necklaces (string w/ tape around each end makes for easy threading)
- crumple paper into crazy shapes and glue onto paper... or can use pasta shells or string or something
- fingerpaint day? do we dare? May be messy but we could do it outside on a big old sheet or in the kiddie pool/hose them down after
- paint a little pot then plant something in it... take it home and have them help take care of it and watch it grow
- bring a tshirt or onesie and we can tie dye them for the kids
- ideas for learning shapes, colors, abc's, numbers...
-Get a sand/water table. Fill it with all sorts of sensory things- hard beans, noodles, water, sand, cotton balls, etc. It really helps kids learn by feel.
-For ABC's, each person bring a stuffed animal. An animal they can easily recognize as that letter- a bird for B, a deer for D, a sheep for S, etc.
-A color basket. Fill it with all sorts of items that can be passed around of that color. Red apples, a red feather boa, red flowers, red stuffed animals, etc- stuff they can touch and feel, and enjoy.
-Kids paint or color paper plates, then a grownup cuts them in a spiral. (Cut a bit of a bulge for a head in the center.) Voila! Snakes! These can be hung, too
-Use old tights/nylons to pull around wire shaped like a butterfly. The body can be a sock filled with sand (rubberbands to separate head). Kids can paint or glue on glitter
-Finger painting with pudding. (outside in the kiddie pool)
-"painting" by putting paper into a 13x9" baking pan. Put some paint on the paper and have the child blow the paint around on the paper through a straw. The results can be really pretty and after they dry, they can be hung on the wall.

--Kristy Maligro is a mother of two (a 2-year-old boy and 9-month-old girl) who used to live in Santa Barbara and recently moved to Hawaii and is a good friend of mine--

Newborn Layette Basics

Let me begin by defining "layette": the basic collection of clothing for a newborn baby.

There are many lists of what is necessary for a layette, and probably as many different opinions about what you REALLY need or don't need. From my experience, there are several factors that affect what you need in your layette. One, is the season of which your baby will be born. I've had my two babies in the winter, and therefore have needed to make sure I have some outfits to keep them pretty warm in. But summer babies will need cooler clothes obviously. Another factor is your own preferences. These can vary even from baby to baby. With Samuel, I LOVED putting him in the little one-piece footed sleepers, even all day long. I thought they were so convenient and warm and cozy. But with Hope, probably because she was a girl and I wanted to put her in cute little pink outfits, I mostly only used these at night for her to sleep in. Some moms love these things, and others don't. Okay, another factor -- how often you want to do laundry. I have found that I don't really need that many newborn clothes for two reasons - one, they grow out of it so quickly, and two, I do laundry so often that I could probably get away with about 6 outfits for them. Of course, I always have way more. But, if you think you don't want to do laundry that often, you will need more clothing. BUT LET ME GIVE YOU THIS SMALL PIECE OF ADVICE: don't wait too long to wash your baby's clothes because quickly washing things that get spit-up and poop on them is the key to keeping them from getting ruined. So, plan on doing lots of laundry if you can.

Okay, so let's get practical now. Here's a list, but remember, pick out the things that you think you will prefer to put your baby in, and try to start with less and then get more later if you are finding you really need it. (Because chances are, you won't) You can even buy things you think you will use, and not open them until you need them. That way, if you end up not using them, you can just return them. This often happens since babies grow out of their clothes so quickly. I did this with a swaddling blanket for Hope and am so glad I didn't open it, because it turned out that she didn't really like being swaddled and I never used it, so I was able to return it! (remember to keep your receipts!)

*a going-home-from-the-hospital outfit -- try to pick one of your smallest outfits unless you think you're going to have a big baby, because even most 0-3 mo. clothing swallows up a newborn (and also, make sure it is something where you can still put them securely in their carseat - so no gowns or long dresses)
*5-10 legless sleepwear outfits (sleeping gowns / kimonos / sleeping bags / newborn sacques / blanket sleepers) or footed sleepers (with the gowns or bags, some people love them and some hate them...with Samuel I hated using them because they always slid up, but with Hope I got more into them)
*6-12 onesies (short-sleeved, legless bodysuits)
*a few pairs of pants or leggings
*a few other outfits, either all-in-one piece outfits with or without feet, or some sort of top and bottom outfit
*undershirts / T-shirts (I actually rarely use these, the white onesies work better for this)
*receiving blankets (no more than 5)
*swaddling blankets (2 or 3)
*hooded towels (2 or 3)
*baby washcloths (6-12)
*socks / booties (6-12)
*hats / beanies / sweaters / bunting (depending on the climate)
*burp cloths (cloth diapers are often recommended - I usually use TONS of these at first, like probably 1 or 2 dozen)

The First Six Weeks

I want to write a brief encouragement about the adjusting process most, if not all, moms have to go through. I would have to say that the most dramatic life experience I've had so far was having my first child. I believe many moms would agree. In my opinion, becoming a mom definitely tops any other major life changes such as moving (which I've done many times), getting married, or going off to college. It was a very difficult experience for me in many ways, and yet has for sure been the biggest blessing in my life.

I just want to encourage you pregnant and new moms out there that when you have your first baby, if things are very hard, don't worry -- you are normal and things WILL get better.

After the first few months after having Samuel, I remember thinking, "why didn't anyone tell me that it would get better?" I realized that we as human beings can endure just about anything for a month or two, but in our enduring, it is very helpful to know there is an end to it. So, be encouraged, things WILL get better. Even if you're a mom struggling through 7-8 mo. old sleep problem regressions, things WILL get better.

My Birth Stories Part 1 - Samuel

I decided I wanted to record my birth stories, because it is always interesting to read about other people's experiences of their children's births, but also so I would have them archived for my children to read later. So, here is the story of my first birth, the birth of Samuel John Lomelino.

It was 11pm on January 29, 2005 when I first started having very very mild contractions - very much an early labor stage. In fact, I didn't even realize I was having contractions. I was still over a week from my due date, and not planning on having a baby any time soon. I went to bed and had a very UNrestful night of sleep, having mild contractions all night, but not realizing what was going on. Then I finally got up out of bed at about 3 or 4am, not being able to sleep anymore. I didn't wake Jason up yet, but I sat at our kitchen table and wondered what was going on. I was definitely in total denial, until I started watching the clock and realized that something unique seemed to be happening every 5 or so minutes. I was slightly excited and a bit concerned, thinking there was a possibility that I was in labor. Finally at about 5am I woke Jason up and called my doula. Mostly I just wanted to ask her if she thought there was any way that this might be labor. She instructed me to drink some absurd amount of water over the next hour and lay on my left side. She said if I still kept having contractions after this, call her. I proceded to drink the amount of water she recommended, but had to spend most of the hour on the toilet instead of my side. I continued to have contractions, called her back and reported this, and then was told that I was probably in labor. After letting this sink in, we called our parents and told them, and then I tried to take a shower and pack a bag in the midst of contractions.

I have no concept of time, but I guess about 3 or 4 hours went by and I was just "doing the labor thing" - having contractions, trying to breathe deeply, ya know! Then we decided to go to get something to eat at a local restaurant called Silvergreens. It is right by UCSB, so it was full of college students, and I was doing okay, but every 5 minutes or so would have to stop what I was doing and have a contraction and try to breathe deeply through it, making very low moaning sounds, and I am sure anyone who payed any attention to us was probably really wondering what in the heck was wrong with me!

Finally when we got back home I asked Jason (my husband) to call the doula and ask her to come over. I could tell I was starting to get more out of it and was going to need more help soon. So, she came over probably around 2 or 3 in the afternoon and helped me get into different labor positions and go for walks around the block every half hour or so. Things were starting to pick up, and finally around 7pm we decided to go to the hospital. After a grueling trip to the hospital (I had major back labor and sitting in a car was almost unbearable), we made it inside and they checked me, I was about 4 cm dialated. From there, I continued to progress, slowly but surely, and was at about 8 cm by maybe 1am. I spent most of that time laboring on the birth ball with my doula doing some serious hip squeezes and massage on my back to help with all of the back labor pains I was experiencing. So, finally around 1am when I was 8 1/2 cm, the nurse checked me and said I had a "bulging bag of waters" (aka, my water had still not broken and was right there in the opening, keeping me from dialating completely). So, she took it upon herself to "pop" my bag of waters, and then I pretty quickly dialated from there. However, just before I was at 10 cm, I started having an uncontrollable urge to start pushing, and the crazy nurses told me to not push yet. It was the most miserable part of the whole labor when my body was telling me to push, but the nurses were telling me not to. So, I tried as hard as I could with each contraction to not push, until finally another nurse came in and said I could start pushing. Praise God! It felt so good to start pushing at that point.

So I think I pushed for about an hour and a half, and the baby was finally starting to show himself- part of his head was visible each time I pushed. But then the nurse came in and said that the baby's heart rate was showing up the same as mine, so something was not being read correctly. Soon after that, the doctor showed up saying he needed to get a better heart beat on the baby, and he ended up having to put an electrode thing into his scalp to get a reading. When he did, it showed that Samuel's heart rate was way too low, and the doctor calmly said that he needed to get the baby out right away, so he did an episiotomy and with the next push, Samuel came sliding on outat 3:37am. It was a major relief in many ways, because it felt like I had been pushing forever and I wasn't sure how much longer it was going to be before he came out. He was 6 lbs. 15 oz. and 20 in. long.

They put him on me for a second, but then had to take him over to be checked out because of the heart rate thing. Then they took him to the nursery and said he was having very mild breathing problems, so they kept him for an hour or so, and got me all set up in my room, then brought him to me. I tried breastfeeding him, which is a crazy thing to learn at first.

Morning Sickness - any suggestions?

So, here's a blog post that needs your contributions! A reader asked for suggestions on dealing with fairly severe morning sickness, and says she has tried all sorts of home remedies like ginger, herbal teas, etc. I get fairly bad morning sickness with my pregnancies, and would love some tips myself. I haven't found anything that is amazingly helpful, but the best remedies I've experienced are finding foods that help, though it has varied from pregnancy to pregnancy. Some of my personal favorites have been yogurt and cheese. The most helpful things though have been taking a B-complex vitamin and using pressure point wristbands for motion sickness. But please post your best suggestions under the comments!

A Little Piece of Helpful Info.

This comes from some e-mails that have been going on between my sister-in-law and some of her friends. It is actually a piece of information I received with the birth of my second chid. I don't know too much about the medical/scientific info. behind it, but it basically consists of the fact that when babies are born, they most often have their days and nights mixed up. Most people know this, especially new moms. We get the joy of experiencing long nights with babies who tend to really enjoy being awake and often crying alot all night long. But what most people don't know and I learned not too long ago, is that babies often have their days and nights mixed up because their "circadian rhythm" is not developed yet. But the good news is that this WILL develop with time, and they will naturally be able to start sleeping more at night and less during the day. It tends to get progressively better starting around 4-6 weeks. SO, don't stress, and until that happens, try to just enjoy those many quiet moments you have during the day while your new one is sleeping so much! I wished that when I had my first baby someone would have told me in those first few weeks that it WILL get better! I realized later that if I had known it would have only been that crazy for the first month of two, I would have been able to cope a lot better. The fact is, we can handle just about anything for a short period of time. But when we don't know if it will ever end, it gets a lot harder to cope. So, remember that each difficult season with children will come to an end at some point, and you WILL make it!

Here's something written about this idea from an article I found on the internet:
"In the first weeks and months, it's too early to expect a young baby to sleep through the night. As tiring as it seems, don't expect infants to pay attention to adult schedules right away. A newborn doesn't know that people sleep when it's dark, and a baby's "circadian rhythm"—the 24-hour internal clock that controls our sleeping and wake patterns—is still developing (McGraw, Hoffman, Harker, & Herman, 1999).

But hang in there! In a few months, babies gradually begin to organize sleeping and waking according to daily cycles of darkness and light. The 24-hour, light-and-dark cycle begins to affect most babies' sleep patterns within the first three months (Louis, Cannard, Bastuji, & Challamel, 1997).

By six months of age, many babies organize their main sleep times in concert with darkness and light. Although babies can vary a great deal, six-month-olds may sleep six hours or more at a time, and most of these longer periods take place at night. Also by six months, your baby will probably wake up fewer times at night (Anders et al., 1999)."

Labor & After Practicalities (what to wear, supplies, etc.)

[warning: some content may be graphic and not appropriate for male readers or those who don't want to be scared off from having children :) -- read at your own risk]

Here was the question: "what did you wear to the hospital during labor? what do you recommend? any other suggestions about what worked for you at the hospital and at home would be helpful."

First of all, it doesn't really matter what you wear during labor, just make sure you're comfortable. And there is always the possibility of what you are wearing getting ruined, so don't wear your favorite outfit. I prefer to wear sweats or comfy shorts (depending on the weather), a t-shirt or some comfy shirt, and slip on shoes. As soon as you get to the hospital they will make you put on a gown anyway, which is actually nice because it is loose and doesn't get in the way as much as normal clothes.

[as a side note, when packing for the hospital, err on the side of less stuff. with my first baby, I followed one of those silly lists of stuff to take, only to find that I used about 5% of what all I brought. the stuff I use are slippers, my bathroom stuff like a toothbrush, an outfit to wear home, an outfit for baby to wear home, your baby book/journal to write in, maybe some extra snacks, the carseat for the way home, and that's about it]

While some people like to have their own robe or clothes for the hospital after birth, I prefer to stay in the hospital gown. Most people are still bleeding and making messes those first few days, so it is safter to wear their gown that you won't mind ruining. Also, it is actuallly easier for breastfeeding to have the gown on than normal clothes or a robe.

In fact, I don't think a robe would be helpful for breastfeeding. It tends to get in the way more than help. What you need for breastfeeding are some good nursing bras and nursing pads (see earlier post on nursing pads). Medela makes some nice nursing bras for after labor because they are comfy on your sore boobs. Then I would just wear my normal clothes over a nursing bra.

Also, you will probably be wearing your maternity clothes for a little while after your baby is born. I don't know about other women's experiences, but I have my early maternity clothes, then my later maternity clothes for when I am bigger. Then after the baby is born, I go back to wearing my early maternity clothes for awhile (although sometimes the first few days after birth I am still wearing my later maternity clothes). In fact, it has been four months since my last baby was born, and I am still wearing some of my early maternity pants sometimes. I only have a few pairs of pre-pregnancy pants I can fit into at this point. Not only is there the expanded blubber on the belly, our hip bones usually expand in pregnancy and it takes some time for them to go back to our original size.

Okay, so here's my list of supplies for after you come home from giving birth:
-nursing bras
-nursing pads
-maxi-pads
-underwear you don't mind ruining
-a squirt bottle, tucks pads, and no-sting pain relief spray (you will be using all of this in the hospital, so just have them stock you up before you go home)
-a waterproof mattress pad for YOUR bed, you'll see why later
-Lanisoh ointment for your nipples
-people to help you!

I think that's it. But if anyone can think of something I'm forgetting, please leave a comment and I'll add it!

Baby's Packing List (for trips with your little bundle)

*first of all, one of the most amazing things about children is that the smaller they are, the more stuff you seem to have to carry! So, newborns will likely require more than a one year old, and by 18 months you should not need to take the majority of this stuff on a trip. By two years old, all you really need is their clothes, a bib, and some sippy cups! (Oh, but don't forget the diapers and wipes for most toddlers, often they aren't going to be potty trained for several months or more)

So, hopefully some of you find this list helpful. I always pull it out when I am going somewhere and check things off to make sure I've remembered everything. It can get extremely difficult to not forget something without a list when there is so much to remember with babies!

Baby’s Packing List

Pack n’ Play
Quilt
Blankets
Swing/Chair (obviously optional)
Lap Pads
Diapers
Wipes
Burp cloths
Boppy
Nursing pads & bras
Detergent (if you want your free & clear baby detergent to do laundry with)
PJs
Day outfits
Onesies
Beanies
Socks
Rattle/toys/books
Sling/baby carrier
Portable or blow-up baby bathtub (or when the baby can sit up on his or her own, I take one of those big bear sponges to just put in a regular bathtub to keep them from slipping)
Towels
Washcloths
Cleansing cloths/soap
Camera
Bibs
Cereal/other food
Bowls/spoons
Bottles
Pump (optional)
Teething toys
Baby monitor (I often find this to be one of the most helpful things I take places)
Pacifiers
Any special stuffed animals/books you may need for bedtime, etc.

Tummy Time!

For those of you who already have babies, you probably already know about tummy time. It is one of those things that you should be doing that is sometimes hard to remember to do...especially with the second, third, fourth, fifth child!

For those of you who are pregnant or new moms, maybe you don't know what I am talking about yet, so let me share.

"Tummy time" is the phrase development specialists use to refer to time your baby spends on his or her tummy! (not too complicated there) It is an important aspect of your baby's development for them to have this time spent on his or her tummy, because it helps them develop their neck muscles, then their torso, their arms, and finally their legs. This time spent on their tummy is what will eventually get them to the developmental milestone of rolling over and then eventually crawling.

Even newborns can have "tummy time", but it looks different than what a three-month old can handle. A newborn baby's tummy time consists more of the time they spend on their tummy against mom or dad's chest, or from time to time against our laps or knees. After a month or two though, you can begin to put your little one on the floor on his or her tummy with either a towel, a Bobby, or some other soft prop-up device (there are several of these types of things made specifically for tummy time). Then after another few months, baby can handle being on his or her own on the floor. But usually during the first four or five months they don't like to be stuck on their stomachs for too long. Usually about five to ten minutes is all most babies can handle.

Putting a prop-up mirror or some other toy in front of them on the blanket when they are on the floor is a great way to help them enjoy this time on their tummies. Eventually they will begin pushing themselves up farther and holding their heads up, at which point this position will usually become a little more enjoyable for babies.

But I encourage you all to take time to incorporate this into your little one's day, even from when they are first born. It is such a privilege to get to watch your baby develop from a tiny infant who can't even control his or her own arms and legs, into finally a little walking and one day talking toddler.

Setting Up a Diaper Changing Area

As requested, here is my advice on how to set up a diaper changing area for your little one.

First, choose your area, which can be anything from a real changing table you purchase (though I don't really advise this because it is not a very useful piece of furniture after your baby gets bigger) to a dresser or file cabinet with a sturdy top.

Second, gather your supplies. There is a variety of supplies marketed for diaper changing, but here would be my recommended list of what to have.
1. a changing pad
2. 2-3 changing pad covers
3. 4-8 lap pads (small water-proof thick pads)
4. diapers
5. wipes
6. a spray bottle
7. very soft papertowels (Viva brand works well) &/or cotton squares (for newborns)
8. diaper ointment
9. talc-free baby powder (optional - I like Burt's Bees Baby Bee powder)
10. lotion for after baths (I only use this on older babies though)
10. a diaper pail
(I also recommend putting your laundry basket and trash can close by the changing area for easy disposal of things)

Third, you set it all up! Here's how I do it.
I put the changing pad cover on the changing pad, and then place usually two lap pads down covering the area where the baby will lay. This is for your first line of defense against poop and pee, so that if it gets on stuff or if your baby starts going while your changing him/her, all you have to do is throw the lap pad in the laundry and lay another one down. This is much easier than having to change the changing pad cover everytime.

With newborns, I recommend using the cotton squares and papertowels with water sprayed on them instead of wipes. Even the most sensitive wipes have chemicals in them that can be harsh on newborn skin.

Some people put diaper creme/ointment or powder on their babies all of the time. I only really use this on red bottoms to prevent a more serious diaper rash. Sometimes I'll use the powder on my younger baby's bottom if it is a little red or seems to be staying too damp from all of her rolls! This can create diaper rash or heat rash, which can be prevented with the use of powder.

Also, using some sort of hanging organizer is very helpful as a way to store all of this stuff close by. And make sure to put the wipes in a place that is VERY accessible!

Any questions? Happy Diapering!

Some of My Labor Tips

Something that makes this post difficult to write is that every woman's labor is so different, and even the same woman's labor from baby to baby can be very different. You really never know what to expect. I've known people who've had labors that last days, and then others who go into labor all of a sudden and then have their baby three hours later. Both of these are extremes, and the more common scenario is that you would have a longer early stage of labor, followed by several hours of more intense labor, an hour or two of pushing, and then the delivery. I believe the average time for a first labor is about 12-24 hours. My first was 24 hours long almost exactly, and my second was 7 hours. But it tends to be better to psyche yourself up for a fairly long labor, and to be prepared for the long haul. So, here's some tips...

For early labor:

*Try to eat if you can, and eat foods high in energy and easy on the stomach. Some good ideas are energy bars, yogurt, and honey.
*Take advantage of this time and get things ready to go to the hospital before it is too late and you are too out of it to pack a bag. Also, take a shower, which will make you feel better and can help your labor progress. You can also get in the bathtub as long as your water hasn't broken.
*Walk around, but also conserve your energy. You may have a long road ahead and should stay active, yet take time to rest in between.
*Drink lots of water

As the labor picks up:

*You can begin to walk around more if you have enough energy, it can really help your labor to progress
*Drink lots of water (especially if you want to avoid getting an IV)
*Use a variety of laboring positions, such as:
--sitting on a "birth ball" (one of those big inflatable exercise balls)
--leaning against a chair or bed
--on your hands and knees on the floor or on a bed
--on the toilet
--leaning against your husband or other labor help (you can do this walking too)

Try these different positions throughout your labor and you'll soon find one or two that work the best for you. But try to change positions and get up and walk a little every 30 minutes or so. This helps progress your labor and also helps get your mind off of the pain.

*Use pain relief techniques, such as:
--breathing deeply and slowly, deep moaning
--rocking your hips back and forth
--the hip squeeze (have your husband or labor helper squeeze your hips together from behind) -- this especially helps if you're having back labor
--rocking forward and back either on the birth ball or on your hands and knees

For Pushing:
--remember to breathe often during this stage, you can use both quick short breaths during pushes, and then in between contractions, take longer, deeper breaths

I'm going to add more to this soon!

Natural Childbirth

Sorry it has been so long since I wrote anything everyone! Life often gets busy as I am sure you all know!

Anyway, I've been wanting to put some stuff on here about natural childbirth, so here are some of my thoughts about it all!

I have labored and delivered both of my children without the use of any drugs (although I did have to take tylenol with Samuel because I had a fever:), and I loved my experience of natural childbirth. But before I get into it all, let me first say that I by no means look down on anyone who chooses to use drugs or pain relief. It is a choice we all have to make, and I have a good friend who loves having her babies with the help of an epideral, another friend who had her first naturally (with 44 hours of labor), and then had an epidural for her second. So, if you have had children with the help of modern medicine's pain relief, more power to ya. But I would like to write about some of the reasons why I think having a baby naturally is a great choice to make...and to share some of my experiences.

First of all, there is always an element of risk when it comes to having a baby...all sorts of things can happen during the labor and delivery. But I believe there is less of a risk when choosing to go through labor and delivery as naturally as possible. I really believe that our bodies are made to be able to handle this process without too much intervention. While I have had my children in the hospital, I am one of those people that most nurses don't like to work with, because I am basically trying to have a home birth in a hospital. I bring in my own doulas (which are kind of like midwives, except they don't deliver the baby), I am a bit resistant to a lot of the procedures they want to put me through (I hate laboring lying down, so I am kind of difficult to get good heart beat readings on the baby), I work pretty hard to convince them to not put an IV in me (or even a hep-lock for that matter, which is like a pre-IV). But my point is not to recommend being a difficult patient. My point is that I appreciate the safety and accommadations a hospital provides for having babies, but I really believe that we as women can pretty much undergo this process without much help from modern medicine.

Here's a good example of even the medical community starting to pick up on this. It used to be a common procedure for doctors to give women in labor an enema to clean them out so they didn't poop during labor. Finally they realized that most women's bodies do this naturally during early labor, and it wan't necessary to give these. They also realized that even if a woman poops during labor or even during the pushing stage, it isn't a big deal. Childbirth is messy, and pooping during it is the least of our worries!

So, back to why I promote natural childbirth... There is certainly the element of empowerment that comes from going through this process. It is an amazing thing to experience giving birth to your children, and I for one wouldn't really want to miss out on much of this. Our society runs from pain, but pain is not necessarily as bad of a thing as we've made it out to be. Especially this pain that means that something good is happening, a baby is coming, and your body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. With Samuel I had to have an episiotomy (where they cut you a little), because they needed to get him out very quickly (his heart rate had dropped significantly). Because of this, I missed the infamous "ring of fire." Not that I was complaining, but I appreciated experiencing this when I had Hope, since I missed out on it with my first labor. There is just something about experiencing the whole thing with your body fully feeling and experiencing every aspect of labor.

But I know that getting to fully experience all of the feelings and pain of childbirth is not a great reason for "going natural." I'm sure that wouldn't have been a convincing enough reason for me either. I think some of the clenchers for me were these facts...when you get an epidural, you can't walk, you have to get a catheter put in, you can't really feel the urge to push (and usually have to be coached through it a lot more), it can put your baby in danger, your chance for a c-section increases, and other risks that there is only a slight chance of happening. I hated the idea of not being able to get up and move around during labor, and of not being able to walk for a few hours after either. For some people, getting an epidural can speed up the labor, but I've also heard several horror stories of it slowing people's labor down, so then they will give you pectosin to speed it up, and then you can start to feel the pain again, so they up the medicine in the epidural, and there can be a vicious cycle created.

I don't want to get into all the risks involved or bad things that can happen if you have an epidural. That is something you can research on your own if you want. But for me, knowing that there were risks involved scared me away. But I have also known many women who've had great experiences in labor having epidurals. Some women choose to take advantage of some of the other pain reducing drugs available during childbirth. However, I've heard that these can be more dangerous to the baby because they go through your blood stream and go to the baby. On that note, most medicine does affect your baby in some way or another, even an epidural. It tends to make them come out a little less alert, and can interfere with their ability to nurse in those first few hours. During the first hour after childbirth is usually when the baby is the most alert and the most receptive to nursing. After that, they usually like to sleep for a few hours.

Okay, last point for now... I would definitely not consider myself a very tough person. Most people would say I have a very low pain tolerance in fact. When I stub my toe, it hurst like heck. But still, I have loved getting to go through the process of childbirth and be able to experience it all. There are so many natural things we can do to help with the pain, and going through the whole process of labor and delivery all culminates in the wonderful birth of your child. While I know this is something enjoyed so richly by women whether they are on any drugs or not, there is something amazing about undergoing something so intense and then experiencing that last push, just when you thought you couldn't do it anymore, when your baby comes out. It is a feeling of relief, joy, and a sense of overwhelming accomplishment unlike anything I've ever experienced before. To all of those women about to experience this for themselves: Happy Labor Day!

Some Breastfeeding Tips

Here are a few miscellaneous breastfeeding tips I wanted to share.

1. Be patient with the process when you first start out.
2. Use Lansinoh lanolin on your nipples to help with soreness. You can actually start putting it on your nipples during the last month or two of pregnancy, it helps prevent soreness when you first start breastfeeding.
3. Drink lots of water. Some people I know have had problems producing enough milk and it can be because they aren't keeping themselves hydrated. You get really thirsty when you're breastfeeding anyway, so this shouldn't be too hard to do. But here's a tip a nurse gave me -- keep a glass of water in every room when you first come home from the hospital so you get used to drinking lots and have it accessible everywhere!
4. Get lots of help from lactation consultants while in the hospital if they're available. Its best to learn as much as you can from them before you go home.
5. Make sure you learn the different feeding positions and how to get your baby latched on properly. A good latch is the key to comfortable and not painful breastfeeding.

I'll write more tips later...there are lots! Here's some good books on breastfeeding too if you want more information. There are actually tons of books on it, but here are some I am somewhat familiar with and can recommend.

Activity Guide

While this is a topic I still have a lot of growing to do in, I wanted to write a little post on it. As mothers we have a very important job to do in terms of our children's development and enjoyment of life. Sometimes with young children, it can be easy to get caught up in the daily business of life and forget that a big part of our job is to not just take care of our kids, but to invest in them. In other words, while we need to be diligent in the necessary care of our children (feeding them, dressing them, changing their diapers, etc.), we need to also be diligent in caring for them developmentally, emotionally, and socially. I often find it hard to make sure I am doing all of this part well! It often seems that making sure they are fed, somewhat clean, and dressed, plus all the work of managing a house, doing laundry, bills, etc. can take up all of our time.

Here are some of the activities I've found my children seem to love. Getting outside is a big one, because it is good for you too. Most kids LOVE getting to play outside, go to parks, the beach, etc. Samuel has a sandbox that he loves playing in, and kids also love any moving outside toys (a tricycle, rid-in car, etc.). If you live in a town like we do where there are lots of parks, I highly recommend taking advantage of this and exploring all the different parks with your children.

My kids are still a little young for arts and crafts, but even at 2 years old, Samuel is starting to enjoy the pleasures of coloring in a coloring book or "drawing" on plain white paper. Exploring the fun of markers, crayons, and pens is a great activity for children. As they get a little older, I really want to start to implement more creative arts and crafts that will also incorporate learning activities.

One of the best activities you can do with your children in my opinion is to read with them. Samuel's favorite "toys" are all of his books. I think one of the reasons for this is that he rarely watches T.V. I felt pretty strongly that not letting him watch T.V., even the baby videos, was important for his development. I am so thankful he enjoys reading and looking at books as much as he does. A lot of the words he can say he has learned through books. First Word books are great for this. Even infants can really benefit from books, and they usually love the cloth books. Then as they get older, the board books are great because they can't tear them.

Kids also love music and dancing. Playing music for them, or allowing them to explore a variety of musical instruments is another great activity. Dancing with them is always a favorite, even for infants. You can even make shakers for them out of plastic easter eggs and beans or rice. Just make sure you tape them well so the kids can't open them up and spill the contents everywhere (which can also be a choking hazard for younger kids).

Another activity that I think is really important for you to facilitate for your young children is to have them around other kids. It is very important that they learn how to interact with other children their age, and even to interact with children younger and older than them. They also have lots of fun being around other kids. This can sometimes take a lot of work for stay-at-home moms. But it is worth the effort. If you don't already know people with children your kids' ages, try to get involved in a mom's group through some organization. Lots of churches have this, and I know in Santa Barbara the city college (through Adult-Ed) has all sorts of "classes" that bring parents and children together for play times, etc.

Feeding Your Baby

Today I spent the afternoon at a friend's house who has a 10 month old baby, and we made a healthy apple bread that both her baby and my 2 year old loved. I also learned a lot of cool little healthy tricks for feeding infants. This was one of the things that was really hard for me with Samuel, my first baby...figuring out how to go from feeding him only breastmilk to feeding him everything we eat. It was rather baffling to me how to go about this process. I even got several books and asked the doctor and looked online, and nothing really could answer my questions. The Super Baby Food book is what I was really looking for but never found until my second child. I wish I had this book for my first baby. It is jam-packed with information on everything to do with feeding your baby and what to feed them when and how. It has lots of great recipes too. I'm going to try to start reading it and implementing the stuff in it with Hope (my 3 month old) when it comes time to start feeding her solids.



I plan on writing more about this topic as I experience it all again with Hope, so I don't want to give too many specifics right now. But I will say that getting lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains into your baby's diet is essential. I have loved learning a lot more about eating healthy and being able to feed Samuel healthy food. He has a great diet and eats a lot of healthy food, which is so enjoyable to watch. More on this topic later...

Treating Cradle Cap

Cradle cap is basically a nice name for baby dandruff, a common "problem" with infants that isn't really a problem other than cosmetically. It definitely bothers mom more than baby! :)

However, since it was something that happened fairly severely with both of my children, and someone told me a great way to treat it, I thought I'd share my info. There are pricy kits you can buy to treat it, or some places/people say to put baby oil on it, but I have found a much better remedy. Baby oil (the mineral oil in it) is actually rather bad for your baby and I don't recommend using it on them at all. Burt's Bees Baby Bee products are great, and they have apricot oil that they sell that is a much better alternative for oil on your baby. It can be used if you want an oil to massage your baby with too.

Anyway, I use the apricot oil on my baby's scalp, pretty lavishly, and rub it in really well. Then I use a soft baby brush to brush the scaly skin off, then give her a bath and wash her hair. It works wonderfully! Just wanted to share this helpful tip of advice a mom passed on to me!

Thoughts on Breastfeeding

Sorry its been a little while since I've put a new post on here. While I want to do several different posts about breastfeeding, each with a different angle and a variety of information, I am going to start with one on the mental aspect of breastfeeding, as requested by a reader.

Many of you probably know the physical advantages for your baby and yourself from breastfeeding (but I will still write about that is a later blog I'm sure). There are so many physical benefits, and there are also so many emotional benefits for your baby and yourself. So, I think when mentally preparing for breastfeeding, it is very helpful to remember these benefits. But let me try to address the question a little more thoroughly.

While I think most women feel kind of funny about the idea of breastfeeding, after you've been doing it for a little while, it starts to feel so natural. You have to just be prepared to give yourself time to adjust to it. At first it may seem strange to have your baby sucking milk from you, but after a little while, it seems so normal. So, probably the first step is to begin to mentally prepare for the fact that this IS a normal process our bodies were designed for. One of the problems in our society is how sexualized breasts have become. Here is an interesting fact for you: when I studied abroad in Kenya, one of our African professors explained to us how in America, it is the lower half of women's bodies that are socially acceptable to reveal. However, in Africa, it is the upper half that is okay to reveal, because a woman's breasts are mostly meant for breastfeeding there, and they are not as sexualized. After breastfeeding, I now realize how much more right on they are with that!

Another thing about breastfeeding that's important to mentally prepare for is to realize that while it is a very natural process, it doesn't usually come naturally for everyone. It actually takes time for both mom and baby to learn, which is why I am convinced that God designed it where your milk doesn't come in until the third day or so, giving you and baby time to learn without dealing with lots of milk spraying everywhere! (After birth, you just have colostrum for the first few days, the thick yellow stuff that is full of nutrients but comes out much slower). So, during this time of learning, part of what is happening is the mental adjustment of recognizing that your baby is still dependent on you for their survival through the form of food. But it is such a huge blessing, because you realize that you can give your baby the food that is perfect for them, already processed and digested through you, and given back to them in a form that is just what they need with exactly the nutrients, antibodies, vitamins, hormones, etc. that they need. So all that to say, that I think part of the mental preparation is to recognize the blessing it is to be able to feed your baby in this way that is so good for both them and you physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.

Recommended Reading List

Here are some of my favorite pregnancy & baby books I thought I would recommend.





These two books are by the Sears doctors, a husband and wife who have 7 children (I think), and have a whole series of books. These two books are two of the most thorough pregnancy and baby books I have found. They are also the people who developed the term "attachment parenting," which I don't follow meticulously, but it is interesting and helpful to read their ideas. Also, these books have great medical information and are just really thorough all around.





These two books by the same author are some of the easiest to read that I've found. They are set up very differently than other books, and they are broken down into small increments easy for reading. They also have lots of useful information.



This book is full of useful information for taking care of baby. Its more entertaining reading as the author writes from personal experience (she is a professional "baby whisperer" who works with new moms in the LA area). She talks about everything from breastfeeding to distinguishing baby's different cries. I highly recommend it for pregnant women or new moms.

Capturing the Memories & Organizing Your Photographs

Many moms find themselves with shoe boxes and storage containers full of photographs that they are going to organize when they get around to it. Then, the next thing you know, their kids are all grown up and the pictures are still sitting in dozens of unorganized boxes. And by this time, the task is way too daunting to even know where to begin.

I told myself when I had my first baby that I was not going to let that happen to me. And fortunately, I haven't! Of course, in the digital days we live in, it is a lot easier for us to keep our photos organized. If we don't want boxes full of unorganized photographs, all we have to do is never print any! But of course, that's not much fun either (and then we just end up with CDs full of pictures instead of shoe boxes full).

So, here's my 5 step guide to how to keep all those pictures you take organized. But first, a few tips for capturing those memories in the first place!

*I recommend having a digital camera and a small, lightweight digital video camera.
*Keep these out and accesible for those adorable moments you want to capture. If your camera is put away in a drawer somewhere, you'll usually miss the moment you wanted to get.
*Keep them fully charged and with plenty of available space on the memory card or video tape.
*A friend of mine gets her video camera out once a month to video her kids so that she has regular intervals of their growth and childhood captured.
*Keep your video times short, because when you're watching them later, it can get pretty boring watching your baby coo for 10 minutes. It is more fun seeing that for a minute, then seeing the next phase of them a month later for a few minutes, and so on and so forth.
*Label everything! (I usually label things based on age, not date, so I don't have to calculate how old my children were in April of 2006.)

Okay, so my 5 step guide to keeping your photos organized!
1. Get Snapfish & download Snapfish Picture Mover

2. Plug in your digital camera every so often or when the memory card is full and download the pictures onto Snapfish
3. Make a back-up CD of them all & label it. Keep them all together in a CD case.
4. Order the pictures you want to put in an album from Snapfish (and delete the pictures off your camera)
5. As soon as you get the pictures in the mail, put them in an album! Don't wait, or you'll end up with too many and they'll be hard to put in order.

Following these steps has made my photo album production and organization of pictures so much easier! I hope it works for you too!

"Cherish These Moments"

Every now and then I want to write a blog reflecting on the blessing and joy of motherhood. On Valentine's Day my husband and I had a romantic evening away just the two of us...oh, make that three of us (breastfeeding baby in tow). While it started out rough, with a crying screaming baby because mom wasn't smart enough to realize that getting her first four vaccinations should NOT take place on Valentine's Day, it brightened soon after. Baby stopped crying...after some prayer...and we had a pleasant drive to a beautiful place - Westmont College, my alma-mater, where we took a lovely stroll through the amazing flora of the hills of Montecito, California. I had prayed that God would give us "surprise blessings" during the evening, and we had our first one soon after stepping out of the car into Westmont. As we were walking down the path, we spotted Ben Patterson, the campus pastor and our friend. We stopped to say hi, and he ended up praying a blessing over our little Hannah Hope, and speaking some words of wisdom to us.

He told us to "cherish these moments, because they are precious and they go so quickly." Its not like I never think about how quickly my children will grow up, because I see it happening everyday before my eyes. But something about him saying it the way he did, at that moment in my life, struck me. It could have been the screaming and crying we had just recovered from, or the frantic rushing to get out of the house with baby and all her belongings in tow, or the several dirty diapers I had just changed that made that moment such a stunning contrast to everything else in my life. But whatever it was, it struck me. In the midst of all the chaos, all the crying, all the diapers, all the rushing from this to that, we must stop...and remember the precious and sacred moments we are living in, the moments of caring for these little gifts, these helpless, adorable, innocent (or not so innocent) children that we've been given. We must cherish these moments, because they will be gone much more quickly than I think we realize. We joke about how it will be only tomorrow when we are sending them off to college, or watching them walk down the aisle...but something tells me, when we are doing these things, it will feel like only yesterday that we were holding them in our arms or changing their diaper. And we will probably shed a small tear, remembering the treasured moments of when they were so little, small, and precious.

And so as we find ourselves today in the moments of life, full of both the treasured and the terrifying, the holy and the hectic, let us remember to often pause and reflect on how precious these moments really are...because, whether we like it or not, they will indeed go by so fast.

Why Every Boy Should Have a Dog (preferably a Golden Retriever)!

Great photo ops! And it is like having a brother to play with all the time that doesn't require as much work and supervision for mom!

A play partner to keep your son occupied in those morning hours when you really just want to keep sleeping!

It is so entertaining to see how excited your son gets over the littlest things relating to the "vuh-vuh" (a derivative of woof-woof, the term he gives to every dog he sees). Feeding the "vuh-vuh" treats is an ultimate favorite!

And the best reason to have a Golden Retriever is that your son can do pretty much anything to the dog and the dog will never fight back! (although we highly recommend teaching your child to NOT hit, pull at, jump on, sit on, stomp on, etc. the dog)

Highchair Help

Feeding baby is one of the most adventuresome endeavors a mother can undertake. Here are some helpful hints for the journey!

First of all, I DON'T recommend buying a highchair until your baby is six months old or older, because you won't use it those first six months, and it takes up a lot of space. Also, if you have a small kitchen or just want to be more efficient with your money and space, there are several other "highchair" options that are very helpful.

This highchair by Fisher-Price is a good option, it actually can be used for a longer period of time too. It is much cheaper than a normal highchair and it takes up a lot less space.

Also, I recommend getting a highchair with a removable tray that doesn't have too many dividers/indentions so it is easier to clean.

Third of all, I highly recommend bibs made by Bumkins (I also use their diaper covers), because they are waterproof, easy to clean, and dry very quickly. They make a variety of sizes too. Here are some bibs that are a pretty good size...bigger bibs are better because they cover more of your baby to protect their clothes.

And here's a little trick in case any of you get a stubborn bib-wearer like I had on my hands for a number of months... Samuel used to always rip his bib off as soon as I put it on him, so I started using bibs made of cloth that had ties sewed on the neck part so you tied it on instead of velcroing it on. You can actually sew ties onto these Bumkin bibs if you want as well.

When you're out to eat, be sure to take plenty of wipes to use, and this product has been so helpful for us. When your baby is at the age of eating off the table, but won't leave a plate or bowl alone, this little helper is great! You can have a clean surface to place their food directly on.

(You can click on any of these pictures to order these products)

And stay tuned for a blog on first feedings with baby and more help on how you transition your baby from eating only breastmilk to eating all the different foods we eat...a question I pondered over often!

The 5 S's! (5 little soothing tricks every mom should know!)

I had the hardest time getting Samuel to sleep and to calm down during his fussy times when he was first born. He would have crying spells that would last up to a few hours, and nothing seemed to really help. It would become very stressful at times. Then, when he was about a month old, I watched The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and my life was changed. There is also a book, which I haven't read, but I know has a lot of good information. The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer

So, basically, here's the important info. that was so helpful for me. The 5 S's are 5 calming/soothing techniques that can be so helpful for those fussy times when nothing seems to calm your baby. The premise is that these 5 techniques re-create the womb environment, and it works almost every time with just about every baby!

The 5 S's:
1. Swaddle - this is the most important one really, that makes the others work (at least with most babies...Hope doesn't really like to be swaddled, but I use the other 4 S's with her and it still works)
2. Side - you place your baby on his/her side in your arms
3. Swinging - it is actually kind of jiggle you do with the baby on his/her side
4. Sucking - a pacifier!
5. Shushing - lean close to the baby's ear and do shushing sounds in his/her ear

One of the things that was so helpful from this video was seeing how to do these five things, and learning how to swaddle a baby in a very effective way. I highly recommend watching the video, but you can try to do these things on your own and see if they work. It is helpful to see the doctor demonstrate them all though, especially the swaddle and the way he "swings" the baby.

Pregnancy Calendar & Other Free Fun Stuff Online

Track your pregnancy week by week with Babies Online's FREE Pregnancy Calendar


Free Stuff For New & Expectant Parents!

The Basic List of Pregnancy 'No-no's

When someone first finds out their pregnant, the first piece of information I like to get to them is the basic things they should avoid now that they know they're pregnant, most of which are foods. So, here's my list...can anyone think of anything else to add?

During Pregnancy, Avoid:
1. soft cheeses, such as brie and Mexican cheeses
2. certain types of fish, like Shark or Swordfish (I know its safe to stick with Salmon and Orange or White Roughy)
3. certain herbs, for more information, go to http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/naturalherbsvitamins.html
4. pretty much anything raw that comes from an animal (raw fish, sushi, raw meat, raw eggs)
5. excessive caffeine
6. tap water
7. hot dogs (and some people recommend not eating lunch meat either, it is because of the nitrates in them)
8. alcohol
9. smoking
10. most drugs (obviously all illegal drugs, but even a lot of over-the-counter drugs shouldn't be taken when pregnant. Consult your doctor for what IS safe to use during pregnancy)
11. hot tubbing
12. X-rays
13. kitty litter (presents a risk of toxoplasmosis)
14. electric blankets
15. standing in front of microwaves
16. too much Vitamin A
17. toxic fumes and chemicals
18. sky diving (I'm just assuming on this one :)

For a more complete list of the foods you should avoid during pregnancy, go to
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/foodstoavoid.html

Here are a few books specifically related to your help during pregnancy that will also list more information on this subject:

Baby Sleep Issues Part 2

I realized after reading some of the comments and re-reading my post, that one of the important things I should say about this issue is that this is a sensitive subject for many moms, and that I don't want to come across as being an expert on the issue, nor do I want to promote any one type of parenting style over another in regards to this.

I think one of the biggest things I've learned about having babies is that they are ALL SO DIFFERENT, and that what works for one does not work for another. It is the same with mothers too...we are all so different, and what works for one mother does not work for another. For example, I know two moms who are both great mothers and yet have incredibly different parenting techniques. In regards to their babies' sleep, one of the moms breastfeeds on demand and fed her baby throughout the night until just recently (the baby is 20 months old), getting up with her every few hours to nurse her back to sleep. Then after she weaned her, she would rock her to sleep and probably still does. The other one (a mother of four), has taught most of her babies to sleep by doing fairly serious sleep training when needed, having them cry for even long periods of time sometimes. These two drastically different methods of dealing with their babies' sleep is what worked for each of them and for their babies. Again, what works for one does not always work for another, and that goes for both babies and moms.

Also, as you can see from what I just wrote, sleep and nursing/eating for babies are very much related. Some people nurse their baby to sleep all day long and all night long. Others don't think this is the best method, and they do more of a nurse, awake, then sleep cycle throughout the day, in hopes that the baby will learn to fall asleep on their own.

But the other thing I want to say right now about this issue is that it is very important to respond to your baby's cries, and especially when they are newborns. Sleep training is not about leaving your baby to cry, especially for no reason. It is about teaching them to fall asleep on their own without your help, an idea that some moms don't agree with at all and others swear by.

Treating Baby Stains

I wanted to write about this because I was inspired to share some of my "wisdom" on how to get stains out of baby clothes after I had to deal with a diaper blow-out yesterday. (A diaper blow-out is the term often used to refer to a major poop that blows out the sides and back of the diaper, getting poop everywhere and requiring a change of clothes for baby and often mamma too!) During the first weeks after Samuel was born, I was treating his clothes with Spray and Wash, and it seemed like everything was getting permanent stains on them and getting ruined. So, I actually called a baby hotline type thing, asking them how to treat these stains because I was so frustrated by it! They seemed to think I was crazy calling in for this, and I don't remember them having a particularly helpful answer...

But then my friend told me that Shout works really well, so I switched to that, and it did the trick! But here's a whole list of tips I've learned:

1. rinse the clothing with water as soon as you can, or soak it in water
2. use Shout on the stain, and try to treat it as soon as possible
3. you can add OxyClean Free or OxyClean baby to the wash
4. you can make a paste out of OxyClean and treat the stain that way (although I haven't ever done this, because I just use Shout)

For those of you who are about to have babies, I want to prepare you for the large amount of stain treating and laundry you are about to be doing! There is some strange phenomenon about newborns and all the fluids they produce (in the form of spit-up, poop, and pee), and it tends to go all over at first (they seem to love going potty when their diaper is off!). But take heart, it calms down somehow after the first few weeks.

Here's a little story on that for your entertainment: when we took Samuel to the doctor for one of his first newborn check-ups, they had us take the diaper off so they could weigh him, and on the way to the scale, he started pooping and it sprayed all over Jason! (It is amazing the force behind their excretions for such tiny people!)

One other piece of advice related to this topic: while breastmilk doesn't stain, it does "spoil." So just because it seems harmless, be careful to do laundry often enough to keep things from getting gross from curdled breastmilk, that can lead to mildewy clothes. Also, use an open laundry basket, not a closed bag or anything, so the clothes can air out while they're waiting to be washed.

Baby Sleep Issues, Part I

It is hard to even know where to begin with this one, but it seems to be one of the biggest issues for many new parents, or even experienced parents for that matter. I lost many, many hours of sleep with my first baby who only learned to sleep through the night when he got his own room and had to "cry it out" at about 12 months. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, yet it was one of those necessary rites of passage I had to go through as a mother, and it made me much stronger.

Thankfully, my second (Hope) is a much better sleeper, as you can see from the picture. Though even with her, the old saying "sleeping like a baby" is frustrating. Anyone who's ever had a baby knows that babies are pretty much all horrible sleepers, mostly because it is so hard for them to sleep longer than several hours at a time.

So, the truth of the matter is that babies have all sorts of reasons that make it hard for them to sleep. One is their startle reflex, where their arms and legs are always flinging about, making it hard for them to settle their bodies down and relax enough to sleep. With babies that have a particularly hard time with this, swaddling is a huge help. Another reason that they can't sleep that long is their tiny tummies that can't hold too much at one time, and that get hungry quickly. Hence the need for round the clock feedings, including several in the middle of the night, for newborns. Often another problem comes (like I encountered with Samuel) when the baby eats so much or so quickly that they are then uncomfortable afterwards, and perhaps have the hiccups or gas and can't fall asleep because of how uncomfortable they are. Samuel got hiccups so bad he often couldn't sleep for an hour after eating even in middle of the night. So, when you're feeding the baby every three hours at first (even through the night), and it took him an hour to fall asleep after eating, you can imagine how little of sleep I was getting when he was first born.

Everyone recommends trying to nap while the baby sleeps during the day, but I found this incredibly hard to do. I am just not a good napper, so for those of you who are, consider yourself blessed. For those of you who are more like me, take comfort in knowing that if you are having major sleep deprivation after your baby is born, for most people this only lasts the first month or two. Even if you have a baby like Samuel who causes you to loose many hours of sleep for months upon end, it will end eventually! One mom I know has such a good perspective on this, pointing out that these days of your child being a baby are so short and go by so fast, that it is not a big deal to have to lose sleep for a little while. (Of course, I didn't believe this until I had my second baby and started to see how fast they really do grow up!)

But on that note, let me give you some advice that will hopefully spare you at least the last six months of sleep loss I experienced with Samuel... if you are finding that you have a baby that after the first several months is not able to fall asleep on their own and is waking up several times throughout the night, I highly recommend that you do some "sleep training" with them. Basically, you can read all about it in this book called Sleeping Through the Night by Jodi A. Mindell. I think there are some babies who actually NEED to cry themselves to sleep because it is the only way they can fall asleep without being rocked or nursed to sleep. I know some people probably think they would prefer to rock or nurse their babies to sleep, but the problem with this is that then every time your baby wakes up throughout the night, you have to get up and either rock them or feed them until they fall back asleep. And they also are actually not getting enough sleep themselves when this pattern is happening.

Here's my story with Samuel: I swaddled him to fall asleep until he was about 7 months old and finally started fighting the swaddle. At this point, I tried to get him to fall asleep by taking a pacifier, but it didn't really work more than a few times. So, I started rocking him to get him to sleep. I would then gently put him in his crib and let him sleep...but he would wake up again after some number of hours, and I would have to rock him again and gently put him in his crib until he woke up again. From about 8 months to a year, it was ridiculous and I was having to rock him back to sleep every hour and a half or so. We were both exhausted. Finally we did some sleep training, and he learned how to fall back asleep on his own. Now, he still sometimes cries himself to sleep, but it actually doesn't seem to really bother him, and he is a much better sleeper and much more well rested. He actually became a happier baby after he started "crying himself to sleep"!

I am going to write more on this topic later, because there is still so much to say about this issue. I have learned more new things with my second baby too, and I have some advice from other parents I can share, because so much of this stuff just depends on what your baby is like. But please feel free to post any questions or your own opinions/thoughts on the topic!