As many of you know, there are more baby sleep theories and methods as there are colors in the rainbow. Everyone seems to have their idea of how to make it work -- what to do and not do to get your baby to sleep well, possibly even "through the night" (that blessed term every mom loves to dream about). What I have learned over the years and with my three children is A) that every baby is so different that there is definitely no one method that works for everyone, and B) we ought not idolize "sleeping through the night" the way many of us moms do. This second point is for a number of reasons. One is that as with most things in life, this season too will pass. Eventually you will be able to get your baby to sleep through the night if you are willing to do what it takes, but there is no reason to rush into this. I personally believe most babies, especially in the first six months, should NOT be sleeping through the night because they most likely need to get some nourishment at least one time in the middle of the night. Also, if we obsess over this ideal sleep pattern, we find ourselves quite miserable upon every waking and feeding time with our little one. If we realize this is all just part of the blessed journey of motherhood, we can relax a little and just embrace the opportunity to grow! I finally feel like I have figured this out this time around. With my two-year-old often waking up at least once in the middle of the night just needing to be reassured that things are okay and be directed to where her bear and paci are, and my two-month old still obviously needing to nurse once or twice in the middle of the night, I have been tempted to lose it and go into my "poor mommy me" syndrome. But fortunately I have managed to take a different stance and embrace the season of interrupted sleep.
All that being said, I actually wanted to write in this post about a sleeping arrangement/method that I have really enjoyed this time around and wish I had tried with the first two. As I said in the beginning, there are so many different ideas and theories and methods when it comes to baby sleep, that I know some of you will not be into this method at all. If you have found something that works for you, then bless you and keep at it! If you have a theory/method that sounds good and you want to try, then by all means, try it! But for what it is worth, here is what I am doing that has been working so well for me...
Of course, now I have built it up to be this big complicated thing, but really it is quite simple -- I use a co-sleeper beside the bed and put my baby (Jeremiah) down to bed anytime between 8-10pm in it. Fortunately he actually is pretty good at sleeping, unlike my first two (especially Samuel), and will sleep for awhile in his "bed". I go to bed when I am ready, and then eventually he wakes up and wants to eat. I just roll over, pull him into my bed, and nurse him. Of course the goal is to put him back in the co-sleeper to sleep more, but often we both fall asleep while he is nursing, and I don't beat myself up over not putting him back -- if we sleep until morning like that, it is fine. I learned with my first (the hard way) that in the first several months getting sleep is much more important than trying to follow what all the books say about what to do and not do. With Samuel I tried to follow all the rules, and it all backfired anyway, and left me completely exhausted and hopeless!
I am of the opinion that sometime between 2-4 months old, one should begin "sleep training" (again another very controversial subject). I won't get into all of that here. There is a post from the beginning of this blog where I tell my story and opinion on that. As I have had more children and learned more, I am even more convinced that eventually teaching your baby how to fall asleep on their own is quite important -- both for their sake and yours.
2 comments:
LOVE seeing a new post, and reading a new insight of yours. i really want my nursing with Grace in the night to be smooth. With Caleb it seemed like an event - wake him up every 3 hours (b/c he was jaundice and didn't wake up on his own), go out to the couch and get into a football hold position b/c of my c-section, try to keep him awake to nurse....) all of this would take forever, and happen every 3 hours! i am not quite sure how much of this scenario was b/c of my c-section and i couldn't lay down and nurse easily and how much of it was b/c it was my first time at it!!!! anyways, i hope for smoother nursing sessions at night this time around :)
holly! good insights! i have actually reversed my method with #2, she is used to eating when she wakes up but not nursing to sleep, so i do wake up and nurse her then put her back down. (sparrow i nursed in bed for years! and like you said they need to come off of that because it gets really frustrating after awhile when they are pushing you around the bed.) fortunately golden is actually really mellow and a good sleeper already. if she were more high strung, i'm sure i'd be nursing in my sleep again. like you said, every baby is different.
oh, also, i have a really good tip on burping that i just discovered! you can read it on my blog and tell me if you agree.
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